A disease called Arrogance
BEHAVIOUR
Publish Date: Apr 9 2008 12:00PM
And there is no salvation for the one who is eaten by hubris. Let’s be humble and win the favour of Allah, writes Dr. Fiaz fazili.
A disease of deviants, the deadliest of all sins; Prophet (saw) said, “Anyone who possesses a speck of pride (kibr) in his heart will not enter Paradise,(Bukhari) Despite this some of us don’t bring humility in their lives and prefer to live with arrogance. People having Kibr (Takkabur/Proud/Arrogance) are scorned by the wise, admired by the foolish, slaves of their own vaunts and will not enter Paradise. Did you ever have a friend who suddenly became eminent& wealthy, now barely speaks to you? While walking in the streets he doesn’t speak to those who wish him, as the fancy takes him, keeps his head high in the air .`` O Believers, let not a people scoff at another people, it may be they are better than they, nor let women (scoff) at other women, it may be they are better than they. And do not find fault with one another(49;110) So, swallow your pride occasionally, it’s non-fattening! Allah is beautiful and loves beauty, but arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people, because you feel you are richer or more beautiful than others. ` Walk not conceitedly on the earth; neither can you rent the earth asunder with your steps, nor can you reach the height of mountains in growth.” Do not speak to the people with your face turned away, for Allah does not love any self-conceited boaster.(Qur’an)
If you try to see to this friend of yours, he will make you wait for long time,. He may send on a messenger to say he’s coming while he’s anointing himself or just feigning to be busy. “ O Believers, let not a people scoff at another people, it may be they are not better than they, nor let women (scoff) at other women, it may be they are better than they. And do not find fault with one another (49;110) .The attitude, body language with which he frown in people’s faces makes you to utter a word, Kibr or Takkabur (Proud) -the deadliest of all sins.
Sometimes it is difficult to finding an exact English single word for a Quranic word, arrogance and proud like words have been used for Kibr by many translators. There is often a great difference of opinion even among great scholars in precisely defining them and it may be impossible to give a faultless definition of inner states .Kibr ,as it is a display of behavior congruent which my professional colleagues may include as the diagnostic criteria alone or in combination with many personality disorders like narcissism characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity ,self esteem, egotism, elitism, stubborness and lack of empathy. Kibr - is a feeling of superiority over others, caused by awareness of some attributes that the others do not have such as power, intellect, knowledge, beauty, or social status. Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth. Being the centre of attention alleviates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy they often exhibit bullying behaviors, especially manipulation and deception, creating situations in which they become the focus of attention. Sometimes society’s influence is so powerful that we often adopt values without even being aware of it. Those values then become less of an “intellectual` awareness,” & more of an “emotional instinct. It’s not uncommon to become arrogant about the things we achieve through hard work, in our profession or business. Here a person really feels I am better than him like he “did it” and forgets that everything we have is a gift from God.
If professional excellence and wealth is used according to the Laws of Allah, it benefits those who have it, in both worlds. “The most beloved of people to Allah is the one who brings most benefit to people, and the most beloved of deeds to Allah is making a Muslim happy,~`` Whoever relieves a Muslim of one of the hardships of this world, Allah will relieve him of one of the hardships of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever helps one who is financial difficulty, Allah will help in this world and in the Hereafter, and whoever conceals a Muslim’s (fault), Allah will conceal his (fault) in this world and in the Hereafter. Allah will help a person so long as he helps his brother.” (Muslim)But if personal or professional traits are used selfishly and arrogantly, it becomes a curse in this life and a cause of punishment in the next. Allah (swt) warns all human beings: “He raised some of you over others in ranks, to test you with what He granted you.” [Q7:165] Arrogant people have trouble acknowledging this. They don’t want to accept that God has helped them, because they feel it will minimize the impact of their accomplishments.But,a true believer, emotionally stable person doesn’t allow himself to become an object of Satanic tricks; they gain it naturally from their honest dedicated work and from spiritual belief.
The greatest asset of the accursed Iblis is ‘Talbis’, that is to mix the truth with falsehood in such a manner, that where a thing outwardly appears to be beneficial, in reality it becomes a source of wrong doing and detriment. Do it my way, or else! was a well recognized arrogant trait that used to be prevalent in people in management positions or positions of corporate or political power, unfortunately our noble professionals are now sharing this trait.` Ujb is term used for such- thinking very highly of the good that you have, exaggerated opinion of one’s own importance, and an amplification of one’s virtues and good deeds while undervaluing the good in others, leading to a sense of superiority ,and forgetting to attribute it to Allah the giver. I am the best` -is the first step to kibr.No Person is ‘that great’. Real greatness belongs only to Almighty Allah, our Lord, Creator and Master. No one likes arrogant person who is overbearing, proud or condescending. The Qur’an condemns kibr, and hates the boaster, (Nisa, Hadid), advises the believer not to rejoice over that which has been given to him, and to be moderate (or show no insolence) in his walking, and to lower the voice.` Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the ass`(luqman). Prophet (saw) warned us that it is sufficient proof of a person’s unculturedness that he exalts in the perception of his own importance. Remember that Allah certainly loves not the vainglorious, the arrogant [4:36].We also detest a person who belittles us and has a huge ego. Contrary to that, we love people who are humble, polite and friendly to talk to. To respect and honor others is a sublime virtue. Treating arrogance hence requires serious thought. This disease sometimes envelops pious people as well as some of the preachers of religion. Whatever the reason, the spiritually arrogant mistakenly determines that he or she is special & then vaunts that assumed eminence over other people.
This may be explicit in his outward behavior, or implicit in his inward self-image.But when it reaches the small students who misbehave with their mentors, scholars and teachers this really hurts inside! When pride enters the picture, get ready to have it smashed. Pride goes before destruction and an arrogant spirit before a fall.I cannot tell you how many times I have seen pride destroy a person, I can’t count the times pride has cost me dearly, resulting in the opposite, which is humility. The changing tide can humble you so fast it makes your head (and your account) spin. If you have a tendency to kibr, the best medicine against arrogance is the realization that God put us on this earth to achieve great things. The medicine that cures arrogance. Is Tawaadu ‘- Humility - the Antidote to Self-Importance, people should bring humility in their dealings, `Whosoever is humble will be elevated by Allah”. Prophet (SAW) Humbleness is to humble oneself to one who is below you. If you find someone of less importance than you, you should not despise him, because he might have a better deeds than you, or be less sinful, or closer to Allah than you. Verily, the most honorable of you with Allâh is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqûn (pious) Verily, Allâh is All-Knowing, All-Aware.(Hujrat) Humbleness is that your deed should not become too great in your eyes. Remember, “Nobody stands taller than those willing to stand corrected.” [W Safire] .An old Sufi advised , “Seek your identity through faith, your honor through humility, your dignity through propriety, and your forgiveness from Allah through forgiving others.” With our ‘ilm, how are we to answer for our actions in front of Allah? These are the questions and reminders that we must remember always to protect ourselves from the feelings of takabbur and ujub. Let me leave you with a reminder, we should always adopt humility and be grateful to Allah for everything because Gratitude leads to increase in the Favors of Allah. And if we refrained from thanksgiving / gratitude, then vanity and pride will gain entrance in our hearts and will only lead us to misery and punishment in this world and Hereafter.
These reminders go out to me first and foremost ,“And it will also be said to them: So enter the gates of Hell, to abide therein! Evil indeed is the lodging, the abode, of the arrogant.”(Quran-An-Nahl).May Allah protect us from the diseases of the heart. Aameen?
If you try to see to this friend of yours, he will make you wait for long time,. He may send on a messenger to say he’s coming while he’s anointing himself or just feigning to be busy. “ O Believers, let not a people scoff at another people, it may be they are not better than they, nor let women (scoff) at other women, it may be they are better than they. And do not find fault with one another (49;110) .The attitude, body language with which he frown in people’s faces makes you to utter a word, Kibr or Takkabur (Proud) -the deadliest of all sins.
Sometimes it is difficult to finding an exact English single word for a Quranic word, arrogance and proud like words have been used for Kibr by many translators. There is often a great difference of opinion even among great scholars in precisely defining them and it may be impossible to give a faultless definition of inner states .Kibr ,as it is a display of behavior congruent which my professional colleagues may include as the diagnostic criteria alone or in combination with many personality disorders like narcissism characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity ,self esteem, egotism, elitism, stubborness and lack of empathy. Kibr - is a feeling of superiority over others, caused by awareness of some attributes that the others do not have such as power, intellect, knowledge, beauty, or social status. Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth. Being the centre of attention alleviates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy they often exhibit bullying behaviors, especially manipulation and deception, creating situations in which they become the focus of attention. Sometimes society’s influence is so powerful that we often adopt values without even being aware of it. Those values then become less of an “intellectual` awareness,” & more of an “emotional instinct. It’s not uncommon to become arrogant about the things we achieve through hard work, in our profession or business. Here a person really feels I am better than him like he “did it” and forgets that everything we have is a gift from God.
If professional excellence and wealth is used according to the Laws of Allah, it benefits those who have it, in both worlds. “The most beloved of people to Allah is the one who brings most benefit to people, and the most beloved of deeds to Allah is making a Muslim happy,~`` Whoever relieves a Muslim of one of the hardships of this world, Allah will relieve him of one of the hardships of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever helps one who is financial difficulty, Allah will help in this world and in the Hereafter, and whoever conceals a Muslim’s (fault), Allah will conceal his (fault) in this world and in the Hereafter. Allah will help a person so long as he helps his brother.” (Muslim)But if personal or professional traits are used selfishly and arrogantly, it becomes a curse in this life and a cause of punishment in the next. Allah (swt) warns all human beings: “He raised some of you over others in ranks, to test you with what He granted you.” [Q7:165] Arrogant people have trouble acknowledging this. They don’t want to accept that God has helped them, because they feel it will minimize the impact of their accomplishments.But,a true believer, emotionally stable person doesn’t allow himself to become an object of Satanic tricks; they gain it naturally from their honest dedicated work and from spiritual belief.
The greatest asset of the accursed Iblis is ‘Talbis’, that is to mix the truth with falsehood in such a manner, that where a thing outwardly appears to be beneficial, in reality it becomes a source of wrong doing and detriment. Do it my way, or else! was a well recognized arrogant trait that used to be prevalent in people in management positions or positions of corporate or political power, unfortunately our noble professionals are now sharing this trait.` Ujb is term used for such- thinking very highly of the good that you have, exaggerated opinion of one’s own importance, and an amplification of one’s virtues and good deeds while undervaluing the good in others, leading to a sense of superiority ,and forgetting to attribute it to Allah the giver. I am the best` -is the first step to kibr.No Person is ‘that great’. Real greatness belongs only to Almighty Allah, our Lord, Creator and Master. No one likes arrogant person who is overbearing, proud or condescending. The Qur’an condemns kibr, and hates the boaster, (Nisa, Hadid), advises the believer not to rejoice over that which has been given to him, and to be moderate (or show no insolence) in his walking, and to lower the voice.` Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the ass`(luqman). Prophet (saw) warned us that it is sufficient proof of a person’s unculturedness that he exalts in the perception of his own importance. Remember that Allah certainly loves not the vainglorious, the arrogant [4:36].We also detest a person who belittles us and has a huge ego. Contrary to that, we love people who are humble, polite and friendly to talk to. To respect and honor others is a sublime virtue. Treating arrogance hence requires serious thought. This disease sometimes envelops pious people as well as some of the preachers of religion. Whatever the reason, the spiritually arrogant mistakenly determines that he or she is special & then vaunts that assumed eminence over other people.
This may be explicit in his outward behavior, or implicit in his inward self-image.But when it reaches the small students who misbehave with their mentors, scholars and teachers this really hurts inside! When pride enters the picture, get ready to have it smashed. Pride goes before destruction and an arrogant spirit before a fall.I cannot tell you how many times I have seen pride destroy a person, I can’t count the times pride has cost me dearly, resulting in the opposite, which is humility. The changing tide can humble you so fast it makes your head (and your account) spin. If you have a tendency to kibr, the best medicine against arrogance is the realization that God put us on this earth to achieve great things. The medicine that cures arrogance. Is Tawaadu ‘- Humility - the Antidote to Self-Importance, people should bring humility in their dealings, `Whosoever is humble will be elevated by Allah”. Prophet (SAW) Humbleness is to humble oneself to one who is below you. If you find someone of less importance than you, you should not despise him, because he might have a better deeds than you, or be less sinful, or closer to Allah than you. Verily, the most honorable of you with Allâh is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqûn (pious) Verily, Allâh is All-Knowing, All-Aware.(Hujrat) Humbleness is that your deed should not become too great in your eyes. Remember, “Nobody stands taller than those willing to stand corrected.” [W Safire] .An old Sufi advised , “Seek your identity through faith, your honor through humility, your dignity through propriety, and your forgiveness from Allah through forgiving others.” With our ‘ilm, how are we to answer for our actions in front of Allah? These are the questions and reminders that we must remember always to protect ourselves from the feelings of takabbur and ujub. Let me leave you with a reminder, we should always adopt humility and be grateful to Allah for everything because Gratitude leads to increase in the Favors of Allah. And if we refrained from thanksgiving / gratitude, then vanity and pride will gain entrance in our hearts and will only lead us to misery and punishment in this world and Hereafter.
These reminders go out to me first and foremost ,“And it will also be said to them: So enter the gates of Hell, to abide therein! Evil indeed is the lodging, the abode, of the arrogant.”(Quran-An-Nahl).May Allah protect us from the diseases of the heart. Aameen?
(Feedback at fiazmfazili@yahoo.com)
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