JUST CHILL- Controlling your Anger -A Vital Skill to Cultivate

Argument Avoidance JUST CHILL- Controlling your Anger -A Vital Skill to Cultivate Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar that Allah’s Messenger, (SAW)said, ”No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, Who is Great and Glorious, than anger he restrains, seeking to please Allah most high.”(Ahmad and Tirmidhi). Have you ever lost your temper when things are not going your way? Did you yell and scream or want to hit someone? Maybe you "lose your cool" or "hit the wall”, while someone else may just chill this type of response. When you are angry, do you say or do things which normally you would not? Do you - after your anger has subsided - regret what you said or did, or how you appeared in front of people? If you answered most or all of the above questions with 'yes', then you are on your way and you will easily understand ;Abu Hurairah (ra), reported that a man said to the Prophet(saw) "Advise me!"The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious."The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."([Al-Bukhari) Everyone gets angry but many of us feel our anger is justified when we’re actually angry. But sometimes it makes us to say and do things that we don't really mean. Equally, we've all looked back and realized we may have overreacted. Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. Ask yourself, "How would the quality of your life improve if you used your anger in safe, acceptable ways?" How to release that fury in safe ways, we are convinced that the Prophet guidance is the best guidance in respect of anger management , because it relates to all levels and situations of human beings so that no one gets hurt and at the end of day we feel better. On the other hand, just letting your anger go in an uncontrolled fashion can lead to a move from verbal aggression to physical abuse - don't forget, the other person is probably feeling angry with you too. Everyone, regardless of position, education, heritage or vocation, must come to terms with his or her own human imperfections and physical mortality. To do this, one must bring one’s limitations into consciousness. For some persons this can be done through the scientific approach of psychology and its clinical application in psychotherapy. For other persons, this can be done through prayer and religious devotions. One of the best ways for a person to control his anger is by becoming more aware of possibility he or she may become irrational and say or do something regretful. Quite often, in this mindset of a heated discussion, a person’s muscles start to become tense and with adrenaline rush the pulse increases rapidly,and blood pressure rises sharply can precipitate a health catastrophe . The Prophet (SAW) has advised us that paying attention to these physical signs is very important, “Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the son of Adam. Do you notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes.”(Tirmithi) and suggested, “When one of you becomes angry ,while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good, otherwise he should lie down.” (Abu dawood).The idea here is simple: the person must change the circumstances under which he first became angry. If his muscles have become tense, and he has started to become angry, while standing, then sitting down will require relaxation of the muscles while at the same time it will change the setting of the discussion. Also, getting up and washing the face(or Making wudu) will help to alleviate the anger. “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution”,Prophet (SAW) said; and recite a word that will cause him to relax , and this is , “ seek refuge with Allah from Satan , the accursed.”(if he said these words ) his anger will cool down.”(Muslim and Bukhari). Being aware of one’s own personality will allow one to not only function better but also to be able to control his anger regardless of the situation. Recognizing, what makes you angry? What Should I Do If I Get Angry? Dealing with flashpoints and anger busters plus resolving the issues, all this takes practice, especially religious ones.” Never do I argue with a man with a desire to hear him say what is wrong, or to expose him and win victory over him. Whenever I face an opponent in debate I silently pray - O Lord, help him so that truth may flow from his heart and on his tongue, and so that if truth is on my side, he may follow me; and if truth be on his side, I may follow him. “[Imam Al-Shafi'i]