ANGeR- just CHILL
Is anger a bad habit or a natural response? Are leaders allowed to get angry? Have you ever tried to Get Those Mads, Bads and Grumpies out? Cooling OR Controlling Anger, taking Charge of Anger & Training Your Temper has religious sanctions,says Dr Fiaz Fazili.
Narrated Abdullah ibnUmar that Allah,s Messenger, (pbuh),said,”No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, Who is Great and Glorious, than anger he restrains, seeking to please Allah most high.”(Ahmad and Tirmidhi).
Have you ever lost your temper? Did you yell and scream or want to hit someone? Maybe you "lose your cool" or "hit the wall”, while someone else may just chill this type of response. Everyone gets angry but many of us feel our anger is justified when we’re actually angry. But sometimes it makes us to say and do things that we don't really mean. Equally, we've all looked back and realized we may have overreacted. Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. For some people, anger can become a problem that needs to be addressed. But is it avoidable? Should it be avoided at all costs as a big surge of energy goes through your body as chemicals, such as adrenaline, are released in responses to anger causing an increase in the heart rate, blood pressure preparing the person to move, and increase of the blood flow to the hands, preparing them to strike.Murphy,s law is commonly known as “anything that can go wrong,will.But what about the emotional and physical state of the person for whom everything that can go wrong has gone wrong? For example, when something agoes wrong in an organization it is the leader or HOD who is held responsible. If the mistake is costly, whether in time, money or reputation this puts stress and pressure on the one in charge, which will undoubtedly lead to a degree of anger based on the magnitude of the results of the mistake. . Ask yourself, "How would the quality of your life improve if you used your anger in safe, acceptable ways?" How to release those mad,s in safe ways, so that no one gets hurt and we feel better. On the other hand, just letting your anger go in an uncontrolled fashion can lead to a move from verbal aggression to physical abuse - don't forget, the other person is probably feeling angry with you too.Everyone , regardless of position , education, heritage or vocation, must come to terms with his or her own human imperfections and physical mortality. To do this, one must bring one’s limitations into consciousness. For some persons this can be done through the scientific approach of psychology and its clinical application in psychotherapy. For other persons, this can be done through prayer and religious devotions. And yet many psychotherapy clients find it a great relief to be able to incorporate religious practices into their psychological treatment.
Although situations that cause anger are not always avoidable, anger can and should be controlled. When anger becomes a habit without efforts to control it , a person will face great difficulty in building quality interpersonal relationships. The Prophet (pbuh) advised his followers to control their anger at all costs,”the strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.”( Narrated by Abu Huraira –Bukhari).
A person can control his anger through various strategies. One of the best ways for a person to control his anger is by becoming more aware of his own personal habits,as it is possible that the person who becomes angry may become irrational and say or do something regretful. Quite often, in this mindset of a heated discussion, a person’s muscles start to become tense and the pulse increases rapidly. The Prophet (pbuh) has advised us that paying attention to these physical signs is very important, “Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the son of Adam.Do you notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes.”(Tirmithi)Prophet (saw) also emphasized the importance of relaxing one’s muscles and suggested, “When one of you becomes angry , while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good,; otherwise he should lie down.”( Narrated AbuDharr -abu dawood).The idea here is simple :the person must change the circumstances under which he first became angry. If his muscles have become tense, and he has started to become angry , while standing, then sitting down will require relaxation of the muscles while at the same time it will change the setting of the discussion. Also, getting up and washing the face(or Making wudu) will help to alleviate the anger.AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah (pbuh) as saying: “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution”. (Abu Dawood) Taking time out for the prayer is one way to break the tension and relieve the stress that brings on anger .If taking a break to pray is not possible then stopping to make dua can help. Suliamn ibn Sard said, “ I was sitting with the Prophet (pbuh) when two men abused each other and one of them became so angry that his face became swollen and changed. The Prophet (pbuh) said,” I know a word that will cause him to relax , and this is , “ seek refuge with Allah from Satan , the accursed.”(if he said these words ) his anger will cool down.”(Muslim and Bukhari) In addition , the person must be aware of the kinds of situations and settings that make him angry, and key to controlling anger is for a person to know what sets off the anger inside him and then be able to control it.Narrated Abu Saeid al-Khudri ,“The Prophet( pbuh), mentioned anger, saying, “some are swift to anger and swift to cool down , the one characteristic making up for the other ;but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down.”(Tirmithi). Being aware of one’s own personality will allow one to not only function better but also to be able to control his anger regardless of the situation. Recognizing, what Makes You Angry? What Should I Do If I Get Angry? Dealing with flashpoints and anger busters plus resolving the issues, all this takes practice, especially religious ones.
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ANGeR- just CHILL
Is anger a bad habit or a natural response? Are leaders allowed to get angry? Have you ever tried to Get Those Mads, Bads and Grumpies out? Cooling OR Controlling Anger, taking Charge of Anger & Training Your Temper has religious sanctions,says Dr Fiaz Fazili.
Narrated Abdullah ibnUmar that Allah,s Messenger, (pbuh),said,”No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, Who is Great and Glorious, than anger he restrains, seeking to please Allah most high.”(Ahmad and Tirmidhi).
Have you ever lost your temper? Did you yell and scream or want to hit someone? Maybe you "lose your cool" or "hit the wall”, while someone else may just chill this type of response. Everyone gets angry but many of us feel our anger is justified when we’re actually angry. But sometimes it makes us to say and do things that we don't really mean. Equally, we've all looked back and realized we may have overreacted. Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. For some people, anger can become a problem that needs to be addressed. But is it avoidable? Should it be avoided at all costs as a big surge of energy goes through your body as chemicals, such as adrenaline, are released in responses to anger causing an increase in the heart rate, blood pressure preparing the person to move, and increase of the blood flow to the hands, preparing them to strike.Murphy,s law is commonly known as “anything that can go wrong,will.But what about the emotional and physical state of the person for whom everything that can go wrong has gone wrong? For example, when something agoes wrong in an organization it is the leader or HOD who is held responsible. If the mistake is costly, whether in time, money or reputation this puts stress and pressure on the one in charge, which will undoubtedly lead to a degree of anger based on the magnitude of the results of the mistake. . Ask yourself, "How would the quality of your life improve if you used your anger in safe, acceptable ways?" How to release those mad,s in safe ways, so that no one gets hurt and we feel better. On the other hand, just letting your anger go in an uncontrolled fashion can lead to a move from verbal aggression to physical abuse - don't forget, the other person is probably feeling angry with you too.Everyone , regardless of position , education, heritage or vocation, must come to terms with his or her own human imperfections and physical mortality. To do this, one must bring one’s limitations into consciousness. For some persons this can be done through the scientific approach of psychology and its clinical application in psychotherapy. For other persons, this can be done through prayer and religious devotions. And yet many psychotherapy clients find it a great relief to be able to incorporate religious practices into their psychological treatment.
Although situations that cause anger are not always avoidable, anger can and should be controlled. When anger becomes a habit without efforts to control it , a person will face great difficulty in building quality interpersonal relationships. The Prophet (pbuh) advised his followers to control their anger at all costs,”the strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.”( Narrated by Abu Huraira –Bukhari).
A person can control his anger through various strategies. One of the best ways for a person to control his anger is by becoming more aware of his own personal habits,as it is possible that the person who becomes angry may become irrational and say or do something regretful. Quite often, in this mindset of a heated discussion, a person’s muscles start to become tense and the pulse increases rapidly. The Prophet (pbuh) has advised us that paying attention to these physical signs is very important, “Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the son of Adam.Do you notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes.”(Tirmithi)Prophet (saw) also emphasized the importance of relaxing one’s muscles and suggested, “When one of you becomes angry , while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good,; otherwise he should lie down.”( Narrated AbuDharr -abu dawood).The idea here is simple :the person must change the circumstances under which he first became angry. If his muscles have become tense, and he has started to become angry , while standing, then sitting down will require relaxation of the muscles while at the same time it will change the setting of the discussion. Also, getting up and washing the face(or Making wudu) will help to alleviate the anger.AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah (pbuh) as saying: “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution”. (Abu Dawood) Taking time out for the prayer is one way to break the tension and relieve the stress that brings on anger .If taking a break to pray is not possible then stopping to make dua can help. Suliamn ibn Sard said, “ I was sitting with the Prophet (pbuh) when two men abused each other and one of them became so angry that his face became swollen and changed. The Prophet (pbuh) said,” I know a word that will cause him to relax , and this is , “ seek refuge with Allah from Satan , the accursed.”(if he said these words ) his anger will cool down.”(Muslim and Bukhari) In addition , the person must be aware of the kinds of situations and settings that make him angry, and key to controlling anger is for a person to know what sets off the anger inside him and then be able to control it.Narrated Abu Saeid al-Khudri ,“The Prophet( pbuh), mentioned anger, saying, “some are swift to anger and swift to cool down , the one characteristic making up for the other ;but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down.”(Tirmithi). Being aware of one’s own personality will allow one to not only function better but also to be able to control his anger regardless of the situation. Recognizing, what Makes You Angry? What Should I Do If I Get Angry? Dealing with flashpoints and anger busters plus resolving the issues, all this takes practice, especially religious ones.
