OLD AGE HOMES - The Need of Hour or A Blot on Religion Based Society

Ageing with Dignity OLD AGE HOMES - The Need of Hour or A Blot on Religion Based Society ?https://www.greaterkashmir.com/todays-paper/op-ed/old-age-homes-need-of-hour-or-a-blot-on-a-society/ “Given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it… live it…and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what. Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.” ~ Erma Bombeck Do We Need Old Age Homes? Are These Homes Necessary to The Contemporary Society? the questions that have been haunting me all time. I am not here to argue for or against old age homes or provide escape routes for failing in our duties towards elderly. This piece intends to explore awareness, options, alternatives and solutions to growing old age problems as I observed closely the lifestyles of many elderly couples and singles around with NRK children. Ageing is a natural physiological process; we all grow old. Along with the aging process certain psychosocial and medical problems develop requiring medical attention and support. Many elderly individuals experience feelings of loneliness and isolation, emotional unwell-being especially if they live alone or far from their families. Our elders are our heritage. It’s our(children’s) foremost moral and religious duty to take care of them. Until the time the joint family system existed, there was an emotional interdependence between elders and young members of the family. Our land is home to people of diverse cultures, traditions, and lifestyles that symbolizes the true essence. Elders are taken care of by the young ones and vice-versa. However, it is the harsh reality of today’s generation that the joint family system is gradually losing its importance. Young couples are opting for nuclear families (me, my husband, my children) thus forcing the elders of the family to either live alone or under the care of others. Most parents send their kids abroad for studies and for a better future. The children tend to get accustomed to the country and don’t want to return. Hence, continue with their job prospects in that country itself. The parents, on the other hand, are left behind in the home country all alone. They live with the hope that kids will visit them soon or they will go there. They are left with some sort of assistance. While there is no denying the truth of these harsh realities, modern life has thrown up new challenges which cannot be overlooked. There may also be senior citizens who have no children, or the son/daughter has pre-deceased them. And here comes the role of support service of caring and sharing in the picture. The close friends, relatives, or engaging domestic helpers can’t fill this psych -emotional vacuum 24x7. Everyone has their own commitments. In many countries and communities in all such cases, staying at an Old Age Home is a viable option before them. The word old age homes, appears a misnomer to me. I would like to rename it with some terminology like “Happy Homes,”: an acceptable temporary or permanent place which looks socially /religiously acceptable where the senior citizens would sit and interact with people who don’t have any support due to various reasons. None can deny the parents ‘Favor upon their children. Social places, interactive clubs or retirement homes have proved beneficial for several reasons for common issues like loneliness and isolation faced by many elderly individuals, especially if they live alone. Such places can be utilised (temporary or permanent) to offer a chance for social interaction with peers, which can significantly improve care and support for mental health and overall happiness. Social Interactions are important at certain stages of life, a well organised structure and processes can provide a sense of community and companionship by allowing seniors to interact with people of their age group. provide professional care and support to elderly residents who may have medical needs or require assistance with daily activities. Trained staff can cater to their specific requirements, ensuring their well-being at a place designed to be safe and secure for older residents. However, it's important to note that there are alternative solutions to old age issues, depending on the individual's circumstances, mindset, and preferences. Aging in place with support services some seniors prefer to age in place, meaning they want to stay in their own homes while receiving necessary support services. Home care services can provide medical assistance, housekeeping, and companionship for seniors in their own homes. Family Caregiving, friends, neighbours, and relatives who feel concerned can play a significant role in providing care and support to elderly loved ones. This can involve either living with the senior or regularly visiting to assist with their needs. Assisted living facilities offer a middle ground between living independently and moving into an old age home. Residents typically have their own apartments and receive personalized care and support. Care of the geriatric patient comes under the special needs population in Healthcare quality standards and is a super speciality in medicine. A Socio Religious Perspective; Old Age Homes in India is not a recent innovation. In the year 1840, The Friend in Need Society of Madras was the first voluntary organization to devote itself to the care of the aged. It was followed by Little Sisters of the Poor in 1882 at Calcutta. The first Old Age Home in India was established in Thrissur, Kerala in 1911 by the Raja of Cochin and was called Raja Varma Old Age Home. Currently, it is estimated that there are 728 old age homes in India which are mostly established by NGO’s. Living in a society where our lifestyle practices are influenced by traditions, customs, and above all religious beliefs. The subject of old age homes is a taboo in the Muslim society. Islam enjoins on its followers to treat their parents well and take care of them when they reach old age. The Quran clearly explains the status of Parents. Almighty Allah says, ‘Treat parents with benevolence’ (17:23) However, when Allah talks about old-aged parents. Any sort of contempt is tantamount to Allah’s disobedience. The Prophet (pbuh) outrightly excludes the people from believers who do not show reverence for elders, at another place he stressed respecting elders and said, He is not one of us who is not merciful to our youngsters and does not respect and honour our elders’(Tirmidhi). Caring for the elderly with iḥsān is in fact a crucial practice in order to “do good” and “be a good” Believer. Moreover, iḥsān implies that priority must be given to the care towards parents over personal satisfaction and shouldn't be sent to old age homes even in the worst-case scenario. God promises to stay by your side from birth until your final days. "I will be your God throughout your lifetime — until your hair is white with age," He says in the Bible, Isaiah 46:4, adding, "I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you." You are never alone, even when you feel weary or anxious. Before deciding on any solution, it's crucial to consider the individual's preferences, health condition, financial situation, religious beliefs, and support network. Each person's needs are unique, and the chosen solution should prioritize their well-being and happiness. Family discussions, consultations with healthcare professionals, and potential facilities can help make an informed decision. In the contemporary world, the old-aged are generally treated as an extra bother, but the teachings of the Prophet (Pbuh) should wake us up. Elders/ Old-aged should get due respect from us and through this, we can uphold the glory of Islam. Rights Due to Parents, No Old age. (Author besides being a Medical Practitioner and is very active in positive perception management of various moral and social issues. He can be reached at drfiazfazili@gmail.com & twitter @drfiazfazili)