Teaching Children Good Manners & Behaviours in An Age of Modernity

Teaching Children Good Manners & Behaviours in An Age of Modernity gawh express 8th october 2023 Whatever's the Best Way to Discipline My Child? On Importance of Respect (ADAB AND AKHLAQ) “All kids need is a little help, a little hope and education from somebody who believes in them, Do you ever feel like morals all over are slipping? Determining responsibility in a tragic situation like a teenager stabbing another juvenile to death is a complex matter that requires a comprehensive understanding of the circumstances and individuals involved. It's not productive to assign blame solely to one factor or group, as these situations typically result from a combination of various influences. Have you noticed that children aren't much on manners these days? Ask any parent with children under the age of 20, what is the biggest difference between their childhood upbringing and the kids being raised today, and more likely than not, the answer you will hear is that today’s generation of children appear to have no concept of such things as ,“Adab or Akhlaq”, (respect, morals, patience, behaviour or virtues. Many parents agree that a lack of manners in children is a growing concern in our society. An orphan is not one who has no parents; Verily he is an orphan who is deprived of knowledge and Adab (respect/etiquette). This is an Arabic saying which very concisely describes the importance of respect in a person. Indeed, when one is deprived of respect and etiquette, one can stoop to a level that any normal human being would consider unthinkable. While it is true that children nowadays do not exhibit the same standards of morals in regards to respect as the older generation did, it does not mean that they do not have manners. Each culture has their own origin of what is considered good. We, as Muslims living in the 21st Century, although we have moved forward in the field of technology we have lost in the field of character building, lost sight of the practices of our beloved Prophet (saw).The fine line between right and wrong has become increasingly blurred and the need for guidance in terms of moral guidance has never been greater and teaching our children good manners creates a foundation for them that will follow them through life. Islam does not separate ‘ritual’ from life; rather it is a comprehensive way of life. Perhaps our greatest need in today’s immoral society is really to look at how our children behave inside or outside the home, in the society, at their so we can take heed to the fact that as parents. Children and teens haven't changed. Their requirements are still the same, the environment around them has changed. Children acquire etiquettes,”Adab ,Akhlaq,”from their parents, students from their teachers, the young from the elders.—and ultimately from the ,“ values and morality’ prevailing in the society.” Spoiled children usually come from households where the both parents are working with almost no time to concentrate on the needs or behaviour of children and corrupt society acts as a catalyst. We used to know our neighbour’s, we played in the parks. Today's children are confined mostly to their rooms without much interaction with family members or relatives deeply involved with their laptops; videogames, smartphones with chatting facility. Children have more material things than ever before but are unhappy from inside than ever. We as parents have spoiled our children with things which have taught them to take things for granted as we keep buying. all the latest branded clothes, electronic gadgets. Kids nowadays have lost the value of hard earned money provided to them by their parents earned after hard sacrifices and struggle. They are too spendthrift on extracurricular activities, lavish dresses ,parties you name it they have it. And then you find out the parents are struggling to keep their heads above water financially. They want the children to have what they didn’t have. When you talk to these parents they take great pride that they provide for their kids. They insist that their kids have the best even when it’s out of the parent’s means. Not “we’re just getting by. The parents didn’t grow up getting everything they wanted, maybe their folks had tight budgets, so they want their kids to live better than they did. We are cheating our children of real life lessons. Most of us were raised to know the difference between right and wrong but are failing to pass those messages to our own children. Unfortunately, too many of today’s parents are buying into the philosophy that they have to be their child’s “best friend .” Gone are the days where it was the parent that was considered to be the authority figure, disciplinarian, and role model for a child. We grew up learning that there are consequences to the choices we make in life. If we made a bad choice, our parents didn’t rush in to sooth our fragile feelings and cover up for us. They taught us the responsibility for our decisions, value of time and money and above all manners and morals. We grew up knowing about respect. We learned to respect elders, teachers, neighbors, and women folk. Children are often easily tempted to perform the forbidden tasks. To divert the child from such temptations is a Herculean task. As parents, we should be wise enough to handle the temptations of a child normally and easily.Teaching your child how to resist temptations will require to resist temptations yourself but that is the only sure shot and effective way to such behaviour. Today’s message is to the students, whether in school, college or university. Respect your teachers and elders .You are in a tough competitive situation, but thank Allah that you parents could arrange/afford the things you need for tutions;school; colleges;university ,competitive exams. Everything is provided to you so you can learn .The Prophet(saw) said those who disrespect those who teach us are not from us. We have to respect those who are passing knowledge onto us. Teachers are compared to the compassionate father. Teachers’ ought to care for the students’ interests and treat them like the dearest sons with kindness, courtesy, benevolence, and patience on probable alienation. The relationship between teacher and student should be based on mutual love and respect. Obviously, no child behaves perfectly and some will naturally be more stubborn than others. But there is a line a child can cross and fortunately, you can prevent them from crossing that line (if you know where it is, of course). The world around us has more distractions and people are moving away from their faith .In TV there is obscenity , promiscuity ,violence, hate, greed, jealousy, gossip and so forth. Disrespectful conduct portrayed in the media is also at fault. In today’s society, where parents, teachers, and elders are no longer given their correct honours and respect ; Parenting will never be an easy task, but you don’t have to make it tougher on yourself or your children. Guide them enough to be proud of kids. Educators can play an important role in building moral character is a worthwhile goal. -- How can educators instill these character traits in students’ needs for deep thought? If we look at what we have taken away from them, we will find the answer. We have created this generation-- We may have much knowledge but lack,”Adab “but it is ,”Adab/Akhlaq”, that holds the greater value and importance. --Author besides being a medical doctor is very active in positive perception management of various moral and social issues. He can be reached at drfiazfazili@gmail.com & twitter @drfiazfazili) --